31 Julai, 2009

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This entry doesn’t have a title, because it doesn’t have any. I couldn’t think of any right now, so that one goes pretty well with this one. In fact I don’t have anything in my mind right now. Total blank!… Zero!… None!… Probably I’m busy thinking about something then thinking about this one.

Hmmm… Still blank though… (_ _)q

Let’s jump so that my mind can think of one!

I was not being myself this pass few weeks. That was probably because of one thing that gave me the pain in my neck… No, not the neck, my ass perhaps! Thing that drove you crazy and yet it still driving you mad every minute and every second. Thing that made you feel right even though it was wrong in the first place. A feeling that made you in bliss but yet it aching your heart just because it wasn’t mutual. And there I was, sitting in the dark, watching from afar and hoping that the one person would look you back, with the sweetest smile on the face.

What a fool I’ve been…

I think, it’s time for me to walk away right now. Time for me to forget all this ever happen to me. This feeling is suck, big time… because it such a nuisance to me. I can’t eat right, I can’t sleep right… Even doing my daily chores is such a difficulties to me not thinking about it. Maybe if I walk away now, all things will turn back the way it was. Back to my books, back playing my PS3, back here again in reality writing good things with Jaquezeean in my blog about how fun it was watching this movie, that restaurant and laugh about foolish things (especially on Ijat, sorry Ijat… you’re still the best) together.

But, if I walk away now, I never knew how that person feels about me. Never knew even if that person likes me back/too… or hate me (that the last thing I want to think). If that person rejects me, I hope that I’m still that person‘s friend. Not treating me like a stranger, or be awkward each time we meet, but still treat me like before, like I never reveal the big confession to that person’s face. If I walk away now, I will never know.

Put away that thought for a second. Put away about the uncertainty of what will come out from that person’s mouth. Right now, I feel like I’m already a member of the heartbroken club. I can’t match that person. Even walking side by side is far off the question. It’s like I’m in the deepest valley there ever was, and that person is on top of a mountain looking at the stars, the moon while I’m down here watching puss!

Again… I’m blank… I have no words to tell anymore!

You, yes you… the one who has my heart. Will you give it back to me so that I can be whole again? If you want to keep it, then keep it real safe like your life depend on it. If you don’t like it and think that the heart you stole stink, well I guess you better return it back to me. It wasn’t yours anyway. Just tell me something… anything. Give me a sign, give me a gesture… Anything so that I can understand. Signal me… It’s okay to tell me no matter what the answer will be. I just can’t stand this feeling anymore!

Urghhh… I know, I know. You think I’m pathetic. Say what ever you want! That’s the fact!

I’m out!

p/s: Suddenly, the headache!…

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Sorry guys! If you're looking for an informative blog, this is not it. This is my turf, my place to say my shit. But thanks for coming anyway! (^__^)


Blog ini telah saya tulis semenjak tahun 2007 lagi sehinggalah sekarang. Ada kalanya saya rajin menambah entri dalam blog ini, tapi bila kemalasan melanda, selalunya saya akan berhenti menulis berminggu-minggu lamanya. Kalau bila datang rajin pulak, sehari sehingga 2-3 entry saya but.

Saya tak terikat untuk menggunakan satu bahasa saja dalam blog ini. Kadang-kala saya gunakan Bahasa Malaysia yang rasmi. Kadang-kala jugak, saya gunakan bahasa pasar. Bahasa Inggeris pulak saya gunakan bila datang rajin nak speaking. Little known selain dari dua bahasa ini, sekali-sekala dalam Bahasa Jepun. Asalkan faham sudah!

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